A new beginning

Well, guys and dolls, I have moved into my own place, a flat in an old house surrounded by a nice garden.  From my bedroom window, I have the view below.  A very calm place not far from the city center, but which is going to be destroyed in about 3 to 4 years.

I'm still not completely settled, developing new skills in working on the flat - lying a laminated wooden floor among other things.  Seeing the children once in a while, and already noticing a difference in attitudes, which is refreshing.

Learning to live on your own after over 20 years of a family life is very challenging because you have more time to think and not always in a rational or positive way.  You tend to find things complicated, or you get obsessed with things you did not even have time to think about when you were busy with your family.  I therefore understand that some elderly people, and not even so elderly, tend to get very complicated when living alone.

Anyway, you may ask, what about my Adventurer?  Well, after a lot of thinking and maybe also some persuasion from his partner, he decided to try and go back to his ex for the sake of his daughter's happiness beyond anything else and see how it works, but offered to stay in touch by email.  What this entails, I'm not really sure.  Of course, I was very disappointed, but then you never know what the future has in store for you.  In the meantime, I need to find self-love, to concentrate on living fully in the moment and in simplicity, which is far from easy at the moment.

I had a very enlighting conversation with hubby who still thinks he owns me in a way.  He told me he knew me so well that it is as if he had "made" me... Maybe that is what happens with old couples, but he also made me realise that "he thought that I needed to be protected" and there a lot of little light bulbs lit up in my mind.  It took me all these years to understand why he behaved in such a "selfish" way, always taking decisions unilaterally, always considering me as "inferior" to the point were I thought he had no consideration for my needs or thoughts, and that he always handled me as if I was "fragile".  I was just speechless and sooooo angry!!!!  Now he wants to find a young girl to protect...I am disgusted!

I will post more pictures of my Irish Summer, with some surprises... Soon.

Not TMI Tuesday

It is not a TMI Tuesday, but this post is a nice transition to my next post.

In the Summertime

1. What is your favorite summer clothing item or outfit?

A very colourful sleeveless cotton top with a deep cleavage, and short pants, or a bikini.

2. Did you or will you take a summer vacation? If yes, where did you go?
   
I went to Ireland with my best friend.  The first three days were freezing cold, and I had to wear five  layers of clothes and get some rubber boots.  But it soon became warmer and we even had beautiful sunny days.  And lots of Guinness, traditional Irish music, delicious seafood, and more golden red beer, and hysterical laughters :)

3. What is your ideal weekend away (e.g. city, beach or wilderness)?

Can I choose beach and wilderness?  I know I can be a pain!  Playing Robinson Crusoe with my personnal Adventurer?

4. What would you pack for a naughty weekend?

Are you still asking?  LOL  Some sexy transparent nighties, sexy lingerie, sex toys, massage oil, camera... 

5. What item(s) do you never unpack, never take out of the luggage from trip to trip?

Condoms!  Tropical medicines, thankfully, apart from one occasion, I was never sick.

Bonus: Last vacation sex… Tell us what happened

Well, that was last October and I wrote about it here, here, here, here, here and finally there!!!

This questions were submitted by Heelsnstocking.

The Adventurer



Ben Kozel, Adventurer

 After my unsuccessful encounters with men on a dating site, one profile tickled my fancy.  It basically said, among other things: “I’m an adventurer, I like a woman who appreciates my cooking”.  I immediately replied something along the lines: “Is your cooking so terrible that women tend to dislike it?” and our mail exchange lasted for 2 months.  Just as me, he was very careful not to disclose too much about himself.  His answers were somehow short and imprecise, but I liked him.

We chatted a couple of times and discovered that we both had a very high sex drive.  He told me we better get our hands off each other when we meet.  We finally met in the mountains for lunch on a Saturday.  The idea, as I had understood it, was to have lunch at the restaurant, then go for a hike with his dogs and for a professional massage. 

We went for a hike with the dogs, beautiful weather, very pleasant talk, he’s a quiet man, who likes to be in charge, slightly chauvinistic, who has been around a lot. We both enjoyed talking about the places we had been.  I could feel the man is like a bear, rough outside, but rather sensitive inside.  It seemed we clicked, or I felt good in his company.

It turned out that the massage session was not planned with professionals…. My misunderstanding.  We did have it, and a little more.  It was getting hot and steamy, but he stopped before it went too far.  Just could not do it.  Then, we opened a bottle of champagne and listened to music.  We started cooking and had a very nice dinner.  Since I had drunk too much to drive, he invited me to stay over.  We sat on the couch talking until it was his time to go to sleep.  I finally shared his bed, we “crossed a few lines” as he said, but nothing too serious.

Next day, on my way home, many questions crossed my mind.  I felt he was still very raw from his recent separation and not at all ready for a relationship.  Where did a lover fit in?  Nowhere, not now.  He must have put his profile on the dating site for reassurance, met a few ladies online, but from what I gathered, I was the only one he met for real.

We exchanged a few more messages.  I told him that I was happy to have met him, that I was going to close my profile.  He replied he would do the same and stop talking to the other ladies, but that he had been thinking too and basically, we both needed to take care of domestic issues before we could think of meeting again.  His job was taking up all his time, for all I know he is somewhere on another continent at the moment and I do not know when/if he will contact me again, but most probably not before September…..

All this waiting and hoping had me rather frustrated one lonely Sunday, I was asking myself if all this was worth the while, suddenly my phone rang, it was a chain message I had sent around in 2009, "you are an angel!"    I was under shock!  No one had sent this message, the phone rang with this message on.  Holly sh*t!  I was crying! And grateful!  So, I am convinced that this is the man...  and I'm turning into bloody Penelope!

P.S. The picture above is not a picture of my Adventurer.

One year....

Just out of curiousity, I checked my site meter  after posting again, you are still there, it's been almost a year...  I'm still thinking of you and wonder how you are faring.  Are you happy now?  Has your life improved? Have some of your dreams come true?  I hope and wish so, because you deserve it, you sweet man!

Dating?

My inspiration for writing seems to have gone for the moment.  No time to concentrate on it either.  I do have quite a lot on my plate, taking care of judgmental children, seeking an apartment, paying bills, having nightmares about all the things that need to be fixed in my life, etc.

Thankfully, I have a bunch of online friends, old and new, who make my days brighter. Blooging is such a rewarding experience!  

Recently I put my profile on a dating site.  Am I too picky, or are there only boring men seeking a partner? Are dating sites mostly for people having problems meeting someone in real life? Are they for people looking for easy sex?  I feel so naive, and so reluctant to go through all this trouble.... So, I had a first date with a tiny guy - not really my type - two weeks ago, I was surprised that it went rather well.  "I do not look for an affair, my life is too complicated at the moment, I am looking for friends and see what happens... Do you have your own flat?", that's what he told me and I could not agree more, but why should he ask about my flat? I should have reacted immediately. To summarize, we decided to go to an outdoor music festival, but he ditched me the day before because he had had sex with someone else.  And I happened to bump into him, among the huge crowd, and he acted like an asshole....  Thank god, he was not my style and we only met once.... But this makes me realize that maybe I'm not ready for this...  Life is already too difficult at the moment, and maybe I should just take care of myself, be happy and not look for anyone for the time being...  I feel puzzled... Yet, I wish to meet nice people who could become friends and maybe more... Why is it so difficult?

Now, I started to take Cuban salsa lessons, which is something I'm looking forward to every week.  I am planning my holidays, with my best friend, for July and started visiting apartments.  I have been waiting so long for things to happen and yet maybe I need to work more on myself and then things will move my way, but time is flying by and I have the feeling things are not moving.  

All this sounds pretty negative, but I'm not down, I'm just hoping. That is what the psychologist my son visited told me, when I found out about the manipulative behaviour of my husband, it is becoming a mantra:

DO NOT LET ANYONE DIM YOUR INNER SUN!

A stay in the canopy

My holiday week was spent on an eco-location in the rainforest, a former USAF radar tower, that functioned between 1965 and 1995, on top of a hill overlooking the rainforest and the famous canal. It was starting to fall apart when a conversationist who was looking for a location to host eco-friendly tourists and birders found it and restored it. It felt like a scene of a Tintin adventure. From the tower's deck, you could see tankers and huge cruise boats progress through the trees at the same time as hearing howler monkeys call nearby. The 360 degrees view was magnificent. It is a very unique experience.

The tower can accommodate about 20 people, with tiny rooms looking like very basic cabins, shared bathrooms and toilets. Most of the people there were elderly, birders, mostly American, Canadians or British. The local guides were very knowledgeable and welcoming, making you feel at home.

Every day, I would check on the sloth that was living on a tree close to the tower. I made friends with a couple in their 80s. They had travelled to 140 countries throughout their lives. They did not have children, so as soon as they had a couple of months off work, they would travel. They told me all kinds of stories about their travels, we had very interesting conversations. He was a birder, she was the “slother”. She was a very witty old lady, suffering from athrosis, and she farted, oh God, she did. The first times she did, I had to bite my tongue not to burst out into laughter, but since no one reacted and all pretended nothing happened, I got used to it. They very nicely called me the “bugger” (what a great sense of humor!), since my mosquito repellant was called “bugger off” and was pretty useless, mosquitoes, ants, and other bugs feasted on me through my clothes.... I looked like I had measles. (To be continued).

Lofts and Beer

The view from my hotel room

Every morning when I opened my curtains, I would stare at these buildings and wonder who would live there, since there were not many apartments lit in the evenings.  They seemed mostly empty.  I fancied the middle one because of the large windows, the tower is called "something lofts".  The apartments seemed large and interesting, but who would live in such apartments? They are close to the sea,  the one on the lower floor seemed to be a club...  With my wild imagination, I had all kinds of fantasies about the nature of the club, could be anything...  A very exclusive club for the Happy Fews? A photographer's studio?  I quite liked this idea,  luxurious design furniture, a plant wall, something really classy, maybe a swimming pool overlooking the nearby sea?...  then, of course my mind wondered further...I imagined something like a swinger's club? I naively wonder if there are such things in these countries, but I would think there are. They're not on Google.

While there, I met a follower who had traveled for the event.  It felt awkward because I did not want my blog life to interfere with my real life, even less so with work. He contacted me a year ago, we never cammed. I was excited to have the opportunity to meet him in person and have dinner with him in the old town. He told me he did not expect me to be so nervous and shy. It was very enjoyable, and very strange to be able to talk about bloggers and sex. After that dinner, we texted and he made it clear that he wanted to have sex with me, but I could not force myself after only meeting him once. I also told him I did not want to feel like being some kind of trophy (Just imagine my stuffed head with my tongue sticking out on the wall like in a Gary Larson Far Side Gallery comic!) or another notch on his bedpost. We met again another evening in his room for a beer.  He made a move, but I just could not do it, besides I had to get up very early the next day for work. He texted me he really wanted to make love to me.  I came to realize that I did not know him very well.  When we chatted again after the trip, I explained that it was not my habit to through myself into someone's bed out of desperation.  I need to know the person better and to feel a good connection.  We will probably meet again this fall through work. Of course, some of my close colleagues asked questions, I was very elusive.  

Tarzan and Jane

“Jane was in this kind of mood again, where she looked at Tarzan with her special grin. She could never get tired of looking at his muscles move under his sun kissed skin, his strong shoulders and thin waist, but what moved her most was his strong thighs and cheeks. She could spend night after night grabbing and exploring his body and he loved it. He would take her, grunting like an animal, hanging from a vine – monkey ladders as they called them - and would go swinging, sliding, jumping from one vine to another, sometimes get entangled, and caught, it was fun, Cheetah was getting all excited but she had to behave while they were playing their special game. Tarzan would take Jane by the waist, and kiss her deeply while jumping to another tree, her head was dizzy, she was wet and horny as hell. When they landed, she started licking his belly, tearing his loincloth away and taking his long cock in her hands, kneeling down..... Oh, grab this vine of mine, Jenny, bite it!...... JENNY!!!!!! WTF!!! Hey, I'm Jane, not Jenny!!!” Ouch!!! 

Dear bloggers, when you play Tarzan and Jane with a lady, better make sure you remember her name. This is what happened to me recently, I was irritated, but since I know “Jenny” I had to laugh out loud! I need to tell her, maybe he called her “Jane”.... Tarzan suits him well! I know he is reading this, Tarzan, I will whip your silly ass with my long vine, tie you up and play yo-yo with you over the crocodile pond next time you misbehave!!! George of the Jungle!

It is spring again!

First, I seem to have gained quite a few new followers lately, let me wish you a warm welcome on my blog!  Just one missing to reach a hundred!  Hehe! Such an achievement! Almost unbelievable! And please don't hesitate to leave comments, they are always welcome.

Spring is back and it is wonderful, my favourite season, I think.  Birds are chirping in the morning when I wake up, building nests during the daytime and chirping again when I come home from work. Spring is light yellow in colour, forsythias being the first bushes to blossom, along with  primeroses.  Small violets show their tiny blue faces on the lawn; and magniolia trees slowly turn into cream and pink.  We are switching to summer time tonight.   

It's seemed such a long winter this year, feeling like being in limbo forever!  It's soon time again for me to pack my suitcase as I will be flying to Central America in two weeks!  Looking forward to equatorial heat, happy sigh!  :) 14 days of continuous work, then one week of vacation, hopefully in Costa Rica.  

I hope to be able to listen to some salsa music and maybe visit a club.  I have decided to go back to dance classes this year and learn Cuban style salsa, as well as the sensual bachata.  As one says, a man who can dance, move his hips and body in a sensual way vertically, may well be a very good dancer horizontally as well, right?  I can confirm!

For those of you who have been following my life since a year or so, I have decided to leave.  I will find myself a place on my own and leave hubby and the children, contrary to what I had wished when hubby and I separated.  It seems that for the time being, I'm unable to handle three rebel teenagers and for everybody's sake, the best solution really is for me to take some distance to be able to overcome depression and break negative viscious circles.  I tried to handle my children, but they are so prejudiced against me, that for my own sanity, it is better to let go.  Maybe later things will be easier, maybe we all need to go through a family therapy, but this will have to be done after hubby has had further surgery and recovered.  I have very mixed feelings about his recovery.  I wonder if he has the mental strength and the positive attitude to recover properly. We shall see.

I have also opened a profile on a dating site recently, so far nothing interesting. It looks like men in general are looking for younger women, sometimes indecently younger women, some are really old ugly men, and then younger men are also looking for younger women and wishing to have children. I am speaking of men about 5 to 10 years younger than me. Where do I fit in?

What I came to realise these last few months is that to feel complete, you do not need to be in a relationship - I have had a lover and friend with whom I have shared a lot of great and unique moments, but I had to accept to let him go. You have to feel your are being yourself and be happy with who you are, with your flaws and strengths. The combination of these strenghts and flaws is what makes you unique, and the fact that you are at peace with whom you are, that you accept the very person you are. As long as you keep looking for someone, especially someone to bring you happiness, you won't find it. Happiness is within you, it is a way of life, not an aim in itself. So, I'm trying to be that person that has always existed deep inside, but for some reason, was unable to be herself completely, to blossom and shine. It is never too late, and I hope she will shine this year and more and more so. I know, I may sound very naïve, as if this was something that I have just discovered, whereas it is obvious to most people. I always knew it, but never managed to make it happen.

And I also wish to all of you that you find this wonderful person within yourselves.

The Dublin adventure

"Hello! How are you?" this is how you get greeted in Ireland. The weather was gloomy and wet, but this is Ireland. First impression, It’s alive! I crossed many young people in the streets, very refreshing compared to the city where I live, where the average population is becoming a lot older and the standards of living quite high. This makes it a conservative, somehow snobbish, city where people seem rather cold and mentalities are still inherently following the principles of austerity preached by Calvin, some 400 years ago. People will not engage in conversation easily and will not make eye contact when crossing you in the street. So, it was all quite enjoyable and easy-going. And my mind was set in a positive way.

I met some interesting people just sitting at a terrace on a less gloomy Monday afternoon. Someone indicated a real Irish pub for locals, where people come with their instrument and play for their pleasure. The Cobblestone. This is where I spend my next evening, drinking Guinness and enjoying the atmosphere. I had my camera with me, took some pictures. A man sitting behind me advised me not to walk at night in this neighbourhood with my camera, but rather take a taxi home. We engaged in a most intense conversation for over 3 hours. He was a journalist specialized in business matters, who regularly came to Dublin a few days a week for business. His name was Douglas. He told me he spent some years in America and Australia, but in the end, he was homesick and decided to come back to Ireland, where he married and had children. We compared mentalities, spoke about our lives. Excellent connection, we were on the same wavelength. We spoke about relationships and sex. As I said, very intense. In three hours, this man got me back on tracks in the kindest and most understanding manner. The pub was about to close, so he got me a taxi, this happened in less than 5 minutes, and he was gone. I don’t know his name. I will never see him again, but he left a memorable feeling in my heart. I don’t believe in coincidences, I think I was meant to meet this person somehow. Something like an angel :)

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Hold me tight, please!

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Some days you wish this would just end.  My son is still sick, this time with mononucleosis and hepatitis.  Now at least, we know what he has, but I think he is also depressed.  I feel like my strenths have left me.  I am a strong woman.  I tend to not like to whine.  I have tried to be a caring ex-wife and mother, but now I feel I cannot give anymore, I am so tired, I'm sinking.  I need some TLC myself.  I need a hug and someone to hold me tight!  Sorry for whining, but I'm having one of these moments here.  I need someone to take care of me...

I more than ever need this break, I'm glad to be able to get away for a few days.

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Life is too short

I should probably read this every day!

Ok!  This end/beginning of year period has been difficult - AGAIN!! - three persons down with pneumonia, hubby ending at hospital in need of immediate surgery.... and going back for more in a few months....  My 16 year old son thinks he can quit school and stay at home for ever...(not even in his wildest dreams! Snort!)  I'm not going to whine, I've done enough!    I'm OK, trying to take everything with a distance, but it's not easy.

Two good news:  I have a new camera, which I should test this week-end....  and I will be away next week-end, visiting a friend abroad.  A well deserved break,  some fresh air and probably rain, but who cares? Some nice chats, photo sessions, dancing, and a lot of improvisation... Happy sigh!   Can't wait!

And, I've reached 90 followers!  YAY!

Being a woman

When I went to primary school in the suburbs of a north-eastern French city, my grand-mother would sometimes pick me up and, on our way home, we would stop at the cobbler's. The shop was old-fashioned, a little bit like in a Norman Rockwell illustration, or rather a Robert Doisneau picture, with piles of shoes and a strong odour of glue.

I liked going there, because the cobblers' wife, or so I assumed, was a brunette in her 30's, with tight clothes revealing large, nice breasts, enhanced by a bra that would make them look like bombshells under a pearl necklace. She had a thin waist, always wore tulip shaped skirts, seemed stockings, stiletto shoes, and very red nail polish and lipstick. The quintessence of feminity.

Edward D'Ancona pin-up

I was between 6 and 10, still very innocent, but I sensed that she was a very pretty woman, a sexy woman, although I did not know much about sex. The heady smell of glue mingled with the sight of her used to make me dizzy in a strange way. Above all, I loved her breasts, I liked the contrast between her thin waist and her large breasts, I remember staring at her breasts and thinking "when I grow old, I want the same". I had a confused idea that men liked breasts and therefore, as a woman I wanted to have nice breasts so that men would look at me, and touch my breasts! Yes, at that age, I came to this conclusion!

She was the only woman who made me feel this way, I don't know why, obviously she had a lot of sex appeal. She is the woman who made me think about me being a girl, about the power of a woman's body.  It made me feel  proud to be a woman, because I would be attractive and I would bear children, which in my mind was a wonderful gift, even if I would have to suffer from menstruating, birth giving, breastfeeding, and all that goes with womanhood. So, I never complained about being a woman, I am proud to be a woman. I had many lovers, I am proud of my body, it still makes heads turn, it gave me three beautiful children, it gives me a lot of pleasure. It gives us a lot of power.

Women are just so beautuful!

Merry Christmas

Kourtney Roy

Some people are going to hate me, because I don't particularly like Christmas and Christmas carols, it rather gets on my nerves, too commercial, too fake, spoiled children becoming brats......   Well, let's say, I hate what is has become. But I remember there was something magic about Christmas when I was a child.  I hope my children did have the same feeling when they were small.  Now, we don't really give presents, we tend to prefer giving presents throughout the year, when we feel like it, not when we "have to".  However,

To all my sexy followers, I wish a  

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

It's my birthday today

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A Sagittarius born on December 19 walks an emotional tightrope but is fearless. True, my family and friends tell me I'm crazy to drive alone in dangerous parts of African countries, or to touch tigers, or do walking safaris in the bush.


They often seem to be the strong, silent type. Also true, I'm rather shy, but seem to be strong.


They need to make a contribution to society through their work or ideals. Yes, I want to go to Africa one day and work for the "innocents" - children or endangered species, or both.


December 19 people make friends effortlessly. Not sure


They can transform a frivolous relationship into a meaningful friendship. Sometimes true.


They have something of a reputation for being great lovers. You'll have to ask my lovers, hehehe!


They enjoy playing the field before settling down and usually gravitate toward glamorous types, though they may be somewhat plain. Quite right, but with some nuance.


People born on this date could hardly be more different in their role as parents than their parents were. They're inclined to give their children far greater freedom than they were allowed, though their academic expectations are likely to be higher. Yes, definitely!


People born on this date are in tune with the rhythms of their body, so they often subscribe to homeopathic or holistic treatments. They can benefit from deep massage, reiki, or rolfing techniques, which provide psychological and emotional benefits in addition to physical therapy. Oh, yes, give me that massage please! I'm a whore for massage, but am a good at giving massage as well!


People born on this date are not particularly goal-conscious but are happiest when they have opportunities to use their professional status to affect change. They like to be noticed for their singularity of purpose. Singularity of purpose?  Yes!

Blog Anniversary

Tom Chambers - Rites of Passage

It was my blog anniversary a few days ago, I almost missed it.  

One year ago, I was suffocating. Then there was the "Christmas truce" and my husband and I had a lot of sex, discovering some new things in the process.  But I knew I did not love him anymore.  He was jobless, I had problems sustaining the whole family, I was bitter and angry, but wanted to find a way out that would not harm everyone too much.  I then traveled to Asia, which was a good escape from the dreary daily life and also an opportunity for some introspection.  I was feeling strong and determined.   

When I came back things started to become tense again, my husband finally ended up in hospital, he had to admit he was in depression.  Our intention to divorce became official, it was a common decision and we made it clear that we did not want to hear any criticism from anyone.  Things became a little less tense, my husband moved to the basement.  I felt relieved.

He moved out in the fall after finding a long awaited job; I was surprised I did not feel anything at that time.  However, the children who are living with me, became extremely hostile and made me pay for what was happening.  The least I can say is that I was not expecting this painful backlash!  I suddenly felt terribly vulnerable, lonely and unloved, so unloved that I became depressed.  I was on the edge of the abyss, I could either let myself fall into this abyss and victimize, and this fall could be endless.  Realizing this, I decided it was not worth spending all this negative energy pitying myself, yet I had not that much energy left to move forward in a positive state of mind, and I am still struggling to get over this difficult pass.  I think the turn of season did not really help either.

However, in one year, I met several very nice people on-line, some of whom have become lovely friends, and I am very thankful for these friendships (Of course, you all know who you are :-)).  I also very unexpectedly met a very special person, who became a lover and a dear friend.  I cannot speak of him, his life is complicated and we don't know when we shall meet again, yet we both expect to stay in touch. This sexy young man took the trouble to reach out to me and persuade me to meet him in his country,  I cannot hide how terribly nervous I felt because of my shattered ego, nor can I say how thankful I am for all the wonderful moments we shared and for making me feel so special.   

It comforts me to know that I can seduce younger men and be appreciated by them. Yet, I have to admit that I don't know if I am ready now to meet someone here, locally.  I am scared to go on a dating site because I have never done it, and I am afraid of meeting loonies.  I'm a little old fashioned about this as I consider these dating sites as a kind of "meat market", it is very trivial, isn't it? I still need to work on myself and get my positive attitude back.  My husband and I also need to go through all the paper work with the lawyer, hoping to find a mutual agreement satisfactory to both parties.  And yes, we see each other at least once a week and manage to be good friends.  

My birthday is around the corner and I also feel how much I have aged physically in one year, agh!  Life is terrible, isn't it!  You fear not to be able to be sexy enough with your wobbly parts... but again it is all a question of attitude and state of mind.  For the time being, I still feel very vulnerable, but I know that in a few months' time, with the coming of spring, I will hopefully be my old sexy self again! 

It is a rite of passage, we all have to go through these difficult phases in our lives to progress and become wiser!

Our First Meeting

I saw him coming towards me while I was searching my bag for my cell phone.  He looked young and slender and very charming in his dark blue suit.  I asked “B., is it you?”  “Yes”, he smiled, his voice was different from the “cam voice”, and a lot sexier.  I was smiling nervously and felt very happy.  We hugged quite formally; the surroundings did not allow for a proper hug, he then led me to his car.

He showed me on a road map where we would go for our picnic, and enjoy the countryside.  There were several options, but I let him choose the one he preferred. The mere idea of looking at a map made me feel all mellow because maps always make the traveller and adventurer in me dream.  His gentle presence made me feel incredibly good.

I was thrilled to secretly be in a foreign country just for a few hours, it was so exciting. 

The conversation was easy while we walked the path to the top of the hill overlooking meadows and old houses; the site was just beautiful and perfect!  He asked for the very much needed hug.  I was shaking, flooded by emotions, being able to touch him for real after long weeks of emailing and camming was powerful.  Our hearts were pounding, oh God! Our lips met.  While our first kisses were hesitant, they became more ardent. His hands exploring and touching the back of my neck sent shivers along my spine, My nose nestling in his neck, on his shoulder against his warm skin, I inhaled his scent and after-shave,  woody green and nice. My hands had slipped under his shirt and I could not have enough of him, they were exploring him while we kissed. The ice was broken now at last.

We sat on a cover away from the path, overlooking the scenery of the valley below and enjoyed some French baguette with goat cheese, sliced ham, Greek olives, mushrooms, and grapes accompanied by a good French Burgundy. Dessert consisted of strawberries dipped in Bailey's Irish cream liqueur, a novelty to me, I had to apologise for gulping them down so fast. He could not have chosen better.  I was baffled.  The conversation flowed easily; we touched and laid on the cover, smiled and kissed, my hands under his shirt on his smooth skin.  I could not remember the last time I felt so wonderfully cared for in somebody’s arms.  I was so greedy for his touch and kisses.  My hands explored further down his now bulging pants and my fingertips played with his hardness.  At one point, noticing we were alone, I gently undid his belt and kissed and licked the tip of his cock that was peaking out of his pants.  His moans made me smile and very soon after, I had my reward.  I deeply kissed him to share his sweet taste with him.  He was surprised by my cheekiness.  He was so scared anyone could have seen us.  I told him with a grin he had no idea what I was capable of.  Alas, it had suddenly become chilly and we soon had to leave.

We made it to the airport, but stayed a while in the back of his car for some more passionate and wet kisses and his hands exploring my breast and nipples.  At one point, I just wanted to feel my skin against his therefore lifted my sweater and unbuttoned his shirt to feel him closely. Soon after, we had to rearrange ourselves and I was on my way to the plane.  Sigh!  I had to pinch myself to realise all this had really happened.  I was on cloud nine!  What a wonderful day! What wonderful feelings.  I am so looking forward to our reunion in just a few days.  We have shared so much more in the meantime, and we are so longing for each other’s company.  It is crazy!  It is going to be a feast of the senses.  I cannot wait!


What a day!



Life is happening

Kassandra - The Smell of Autumn

The wheel is turning, life is happening. It seems so much has happened lately and is about to happen soon, that.... I'm completely exhausted but getting happier by the day!

First of all, I seem to have new followers. I am surprised that people actually read me LOL! Even if I have not posted anything recently. Welcome to my little world, my new followers. I'm smiling!

Then, my husband is moving out this week-end. We are separated! It is becoming official... What do I feel? Actually, I'm not exhilarated, I'm not sad, I have been waiting for this for such a long time, that I actually don't feel anything. I guess I haven't realized yet, it has to sink in. The backlash is that there is a certain number of issues that need to be discussed with the children as I am the "monster" and I seemingly have to pay for it. We shall see how things work out. It is not going to be easy.

In the meantime, I have not had much rest because of 14 days of on-going work, followed by a week-end spent in Italy with my art class in Milan and Pavia. I need to sleep!

If you read my last post, things have evolved too. I spent a few hours overseas to meet in person someone very special I met online. As I said, it was a very special and intense hug, but things seemed too complicated at first, yet after some in-depth discussion, they should work out very nicely. I don't want to say too much now, but we have plans to meet again. I hope to be able to post about our first few hours together soon. It made me so happy! The distance and our personal circumstances, as I mentioned in my last post, do not make it easy, but we crave each other's company so much that we want to meet again soon! Oh, I'm sooo looking forward to that much needed warm, affectionate, tender hug, my dear! And sharing masses of TLC, I can't wait!

So, life is happening at last, I'm taking one thing at a time and appreciate all the positive vibes that are coming my way, thanks to a few friends I have close by, but also to some lovely people I met online across the world, you know who you are, especially you, my Fairy!

Away for a hug

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I'm away for the day, flying over the sea for a hug.  We shall see what happens...

It was a beautiful hug, an intense hug, but only a hug.  

Life circumstances and the distance made us realise more was impossible.  

We shall remain friends, if that is at all possible.  

You know you are very dear and special to me.

Dirty Old Man

Our landlord is 70 year old.  Upon our arrival, we were invited for a drink and introduced to his family.

His wife and family have since been away for the week. Every day, he finds an excuse for ringing at the door. He likes to give me a cucumber or a zucchini - you should have seen the children's disgust! No need to have studied Freud to understand what he means, or do we have dirty minds when we wonder why a cucumber or a zucchini, or even an unripe plum!!!.

He has a bad breath, strange toes, is half bald and wears glasses, he is 70 after all. One day, he rang three times. “If you want to have a drink, I’m there, I’m waiting…” I did it once, at the beginning, he took every opportunity to touch my bare skin.  Since then, I’m always elusive or tell him we won’t be around. Doesn’t he get my message? Is it only hospitality, or is he a dirty old man?

Lately, we had an invasion of ants in the kitchen, he came by to check. He touched my arm and said he would take care of it, spray a little here and there… I cringed in horror and disengaged myself from his grip.

He has invited himself twice, cooking fish and bringing this very strong alcohol made with either rose petals, or orange rinds, mint leaves or carob seeds, or plumbs (slivoviz). The children made faces in his back, did silly comments when he was not listening, I had to make efforts not to laugh while listening to him. He has told us the same story three times already, so I think he is a little senile, but he always manages to touch me, my arm, my shoulder, my back. I mentioned my husband, he quivered. “Are you married? Yes, I am!” Ten minutes later, he was gone. The children asked with a grin “what would you have done if he tried to kiss you with his bad breath?” Well, I would never have let it go so far, and I prefer to believe it was just pure hospitality *ahem!*.  After that, I went for a strong cocktail!

On a more positive note, the view from our balcony.