My inspiration for writing seems to have gone for the moment. No time to concentrate on it either. I do have quite a lot on my plate, taking care of judgmental children, seeking an apartment, paying bills, having nightmares about all the things that need to be fixed in my life, etc.
Thankfully, I have a bunch of online friends, old and new, who make my days brighter. Blooging is such a rewarding experience!
Recently I put my profile on a dating site. Am I too picky, or are there only boring men seeking a partner? Are dating sites mostly for people having problems meeting someone in real life? Are they for people looking for easy sex? I feel so naive, and so reluctant to go through all this trouble.... So, I had a first date with a tiny guy - not really my type - two weeks ago, I was surprised that it went rather well. "I do not look for an affair, my life is too complicated at the moment, I am looking for friends and see what happens... Do you have your own flat?", that's what he told me and I could not agree more, but why should he ask about my flat? I should have reacted immediately. To summarize, we decided to go to an outdoor music festival, but he ditched me the day before because he had had sex with someone else. And I happened to bump into him, among the huge crowd, and he acted like an asshole.... Thank god, he was not my style and we only met once.... But this makes me realize that maybe I'm not ready for this... Life is already too difficult at the moment, and maybe I should just take care of myself, be happy and not look for anyone for the time being... I feel puzzled... Yet, I wish to meet nice people who could become friends and maybe more... Why is it so difficult?
Now, I started to take Cuban salsa lessons, which is something I'm looking forward to every week. I am planning my holidays, with my best friend, for July and started visiting apartments. I have been waiting so long for things to happen and yet maybe I need to work more on myself and then things will move my way, but time is flying by and I have the feeling things are not moving.
All this sounds pretty negative, but I'm not down, I'm just hoping. That is what the psychologist my son visited told me, when I found out about the manipulative behaviour of my husband, it is becoming a mantra:
DO NOT LET ANYONE DIM YOUR INNER SUN!
19 comments:
This psychologist is very wise . . . Unfortunately, many haven't even found their inner sun . . . As for your other comments, all things appear in our path when we're ready . . . Perhaps, as you say, you need to focus on YOU for now, and then you'll be in a better position to have that relationship when that person crosses your path . . . Perhaps you aren't ready for that person, nor they for you at this point . . . But in a month, or two, or six, who knows? Things can happen when we least expect them to, and in ways we don't expect . . . :) Ciao
Inner sun, huh? I like that.
I've met one or two....... :-)
Maybe meeting people without expectations is what you need?
I find it extremely difficult to trust someone in this online era, so I just go in with low expectations (have fun, see what happens).
To quote Albert Einstein, "To find a prince you have to kiss a lot of toads." I think that's what he said.
If you aren't ready, take a break, like you said, you have plenty to keep you busy.
I know it sounds cliche' but putting yourself out there - be it dating website or salsa dancing - puts your hope to action and brings your inner sun out into the light. Thank you darling lady for sharing this post, xo - E.
Good luck with the dating. I'm sure a lot of guys are just looking for sex which is ok in some ways if that is what they say they are looking for, the ones to watch out for are the ones who don't admit that. I'm sure there are plenty of good ones out there some place.
I've often thought about my inner spark when things are looking down. It's easiest to see then and reminds me that things can get better. I guess it is sort of like an inner sun.
No, yes, yes, and yes. But that doesn't mean you don;t keep trying. And the dance classes might be your best bet anyway. Not because dance classes are pick up places, but because you see people, and people see you, when they are doing what they love.hy
Hi Frenchy, we must talk! The online dating thing is very interesting. I tried it on/off for two years...and met many a strange person. Some men that were ok, but none that I would say were keepers. Lol. I should write about some of the dating adventures.
But, don't feel that you are lost in that world. I felt that way too at first. But then I realized maybe everyone is awkward online, or afraid, or whatever. Take your time, trust your gut instincts.
These days, I'm trying to take care of me, and when it moves me to do something I do. If not...I don't. Barring responsibilites of course.
Things will level themselves as they need to. Hang in there! Hope your life eases a bit. :)
Love, A.
I don't think the post sounded negative. You are being contemplative and thinking out loud some very good thoughts.
Taking Cuban Salsa lessons is great. You'll get out and meet people and have fun with no expectations for romance or sex.
Enjoy, take it slow.
-H
Snake - I think what you say is very true, I just need to patient and my own self again.
DCHY - Welcome and thank you for stopping by. Yes, we all are amazing, shining beings, as Snake says, some of us have not discovered it yet.
Nolens Volens - Oh, I'm so glad to hear that! Big cocks, huh? LOL! Are you a mind reader? And welcome too!
Leah - Well, I guess one day, it will be my turn.
France - Yes, I know, I learned my lesson, I'm not expecting too much anymore.
Advizor - Einstein seems to have said a lot of things, lol. Yes, there are too many things to attend to, I believe too that it will come in time.
Sweet Ella - Salsa lessons are a lot of fun and the people are very nice, I sometimes feel like a very naive teenage girl.
Markus - It's a jungle out there, yes. Inner spark, inner sun, self-love... our true self.
J - and just wait until I've reached a better level, I'll be able to attend salsa nights and have a lot of fun!
Aphrodite - Good advice! I'd love to talk to you, if you wish.
Hedone - Yes, and I would love to take pole dances lessons, like you, but you can't have it all! LOL
Everything will happen in its own time when it's meant to be. I'm sure you will find someone wonderful who is worthy of you.
GREAT quote at the bottom! I love that....
xx
Love that quote. We all need to take care of ourselves first.
I wish you luck in your summer plans, and hope you meet the person who deserves you. I can't say much about the dating aspect, but I wish you luck.
Thanks for visiting my blog ~
I feel for you. When I was single I would kill just to be friends with a lady with charm like yourself. Today men do act so badly... Put there are still some good ones out there, you just have to wait until one trips in front of you... Look around you, there is plenty of life going on. Your trip, your kid, and that great person you wake up to in the mirror every morning. That person was strong enough to move on in her marrage, now she must be strong enogh to ride the after effects..
Yeah, I like that quote too :)
I like that quote, too. Very true.
Temptress - I know, I just wish you are right.
Vixen - I'm glad you like it!
Heaven - Thanks for stopping by and for the nice comment!
1manview - Yes, aftereffects are tough sometimes lol!
Roxy - Oh hello! Nice to see you over here.
Sweets - Your inner sun is very welcoming! :)
I agree with everything you say and all the comments too. Love yourself and anything extra is a bonus.
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