Just let go

Letting go is just the most difficult thing in the world when so many things are at stake, but you have to move on.  I'm still on a roller-coaster most of the time, but feeling better.  I need to take care of my children who also suffer at the moment.  They need a strong mom.  I am therefore  going to post less for a while.  I'm still there, answering messages and reading, but right now, some people need me as much as I need them, and I need to concentrate on them.  

Love you all, my lovelies!

Things I'd like to change...

You saw my latest post about having a bad day, well actually, it is like several bad days, and I was planning to do some very nice things, here.  I did nothing, but stay in bed with a kidney infection, taking antibiotics, and crying, crying and more crying.  A real anxiety attack!  Since my husband now admitted he is in depression and should go on a therapy, it seems the strong me has started to crumble.  I felt completely empty with no taste for anything but sleep. And slept, comatose sleep, feeling even more empty.  Now, in my self pitty, I read some blogs, which made me feel even more useless.  Saw some really gorgeous bloggers and thought, I should stop blooging out of disgust for being so unglorious!

Feeling like a freak

(Erik Keller - Wundertkammer006)

   

 

I would like to fly
(tumbler)


 

The body I would like to have, but which one?
(tumbler)

The butt I would like to have (tumbler)

How sexy I would like to be (tumbler)

The complicity I would like to have with my partner (tumbler)

One of the moments I would like to share with someone (tumbler)

Sometimes, I still feel like that little girl who believed in fairytales (tumbler)

But than I read the side-effects of the antibiotics....

"I feel like Ive been living in a consistent state of suspension. Like I’m just hovering between things, nothing grounding me, nothing pulling me in any direction. Just floating from one day to the next with no structure to help distinguish days. Sometimes this feeling is exciting and freeing, other times, this feeling makes me feel lonely and lost." (tumbler)

....and what do I read:  depression!!!  WTF!!!  No wonder!  I'm not that sort of girl! Damn! Will go back to the doctor's and complain!

So, tomorrow, back to work.