My inspiration for writing seems to have gone for the moment. No time to concentrate on it either. I do have quite a lot on my plate, taking care of judgmental children, seeking an apartment, paying bills, having nightmares about all the things that need to be fixed in my life, etc.
Thankfully, I have a bunch of online friends, old and new, who make my days brighter. Blooging is such a rewarding experience!
Recently I put my profile on a dating site. Am I too picky, or are there only boring men seeking a partner? Are dating sites mostly for people having problems meeting someone in real life? Are they for people looking for easy sex? I feel so naive, and so reluctant to go through all this trouble.... So, I had a first date with a tiny guy - not really my type - two weeks ago, I was surprised that it went rather well. "I do not look for an affair, my life is too complicated at the moment, I am looking for friends and see what happens... Do you have your own flat?", that's what he told me and I could not agree more, but why should he ask about my flat? I should have reacted immediately. To summarize, we decided to go to an outdoor music festival, but he ditched me the day before because he had had sex with someone else. And I happened to bump into him, among the huge crowd, and he acted like an asshole.... Thank god, he was not my style and we only met once.... But this makes me realize that maybe I'm not ready for this... Life is already too difficult at the moment, and maybe I should just take care of myself, be happy and not look for anyone for the time being... I feel puzzled... Yet, I wish to meet nice people who could become friends and maybe more... Why is it so difficult?
Now, I started to take Cuban salsa lessons, which is something I'm looking forward to every week. I am planning my holidays, with my best friend, for July and started visiting apartments. I have been waiting so long for things to happen and yet maybe I need to work more on myself and then things will move my way, but time is flying by and I have the feeling things are not moving.
All this sounds pretty negative, but I'm not down, I'm just hoping. That is what the psychologist my son visited told me, when I found out about the manipulative behaviour of my husband, it is becoming a mantra:
DO NOT LET ANYONE DIM YOUR INNER SUN!
