Just let go

Letting go is just the most difficult thing in the world when so many things are at stake, but you have to move on.  I'm still on a roller-coaster most of the time, but feeling better.  I need to take care of my children who also suffer at the moment.  They need a strong mom.  I am therefore  going to post less for a while.  I'm still there, answering messages and reading, but right now, some people need me as much as I need them, and I need to concentrate on them.  

Love you all, my lovelies!

One of those days again...

Albert Watson

When you feel like this...










... or like that...

Tom Chambers - Rites of Passage

When you have to do this....

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.. and put on a happy face..

Kassandra

When you desperately need this..

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and this..

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.. but you don't know when this is going to happen again...

you hope for this....

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Signed:  the Drama Queen :)

Things I'd like to change...

You saw my latest post about having a bad day, well actually, it is like several bad days, and I was planning to do some very nice things, here.  I did nothing, but stay in bed with a kidney infection, taking antibiotics, and crying, crying and more crying.  A real anxiety attack!  Since my husband now admitted he is in depression and should go on a therapy, it seems the strong me has started to crumble.  I felt completely empty with no taste for anything but sleep. And slept, comatose sleep, feeling even more empty.  Now, in my self pitty, I read some blogs, which made me feel even more useless.  Saw some really gorgeous bloggers and thought, I should stop blooging out of disgust for being so unglorious!

Feeling like a freak

(Erik Keller - Wundertkammer006)

   

 

I would like to fly
(tumbler)


 

The body I would like to have, but which one?
(tumbler)

The butt I would like to have (tumbler)

How sexy I would like to be (tumbler)

The complicity I would like to have with my partner (tumbler)

One of the moments I would like to share with someone (tumbler)

Sometimes, I still feel like that little girl who believed in fairytales (tumbler)

But than I read the side-effects of the antibiotics....

"I feel like Ive been living in a consistent state of suspension. Like I’m just hovering between things, nothing grounding me, nothing pulling me in any direction. Just floating from one day to the next with no structure to help distinguish days. Sometimes this feeling is exciting and freeing, other times, this feeling makes me feel lonely and lost." (tumbler)

....and what do I read:  depression!!!  WTF!!!  No wonder!  I'm not that sort of girl! Damn! Will go back to the doctor's and complain!

So, tomorrow, back to work.

Moments

Pain, Fear, Anxiety, Ambulances, Hospitals, Doctors

Expectations, Questioning, Reassurance,

Relief, Medicine, Breakdown, Rest,

Responsibilities, Being Strong,

Facing the Truth, Arguing, Anger, Grief, Promises,

Crying, Distress, Needing Help,

Understanding, Sharing Worries, Feeling Relieved,

Friendship, Love, Hope?

Friendship, Love, Hope…

H O P E!

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Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, blackbird fly

Into the light of the dark black night

Blackbird fly, blackbird fly

Into the light of the dark black night

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Happily back

Yes, I'm back home after 5 days grounded in Bangkok because of the volcanic eruption.


The first two days, our airline told us not to come to the airport, since all flights to Europe had been cancelled. We were told to regularly check our airline's website. They offered us one night in a 5* hotel. On the third day, regular flights had resumed. A wake-up call at 6 a.m. and we - about 1000 people - went to the airport as early as 8 a.m. to start queuing to get on a waiting list for the first flight to leave at noon. However, priority was given to regular passengers, then to first class, business class, Gold and Silver card holders and eventually, about half a dozen were randomly called to board the plane. There was no logic as to whom would board the plane. The procedure was repeated three times until past midnight, when we all went back to the hotel - for those who could still afford a hotel, a lot of people slept at the airport on the floor. After this first day of hope, a lot of people got angry because of lack of information.

The next day, the whole procedure was repeated. A significant number of people managed to leave on various flights that day. Around midnight, we were told that on Wednesdays, the airline did not fly to/from Bangkok, but that they would exceptionally send an empty aircraft to come and get those stranded people who had not managed to find a seat on a regular flight. So, this is how I managed to come back home.

In the meantime, the Red Shirts have demonstrated and people were killed. Travellers are advised not to come to Thailand for the time being.

I did not have time to blog nor to read much, so what a surprise when I checked my blog and discovered I had 25 followers! Wow! I'm feeling proud that people are actually interested in what I write. A big welcome to you and thank you for having left comments. There is more to come about my travels, with pictures I took, I hope you will continue enjoying my posts.

A special mention to those who chatted with me while I was feeling lonely, thank you so much for your warm words and your concern.

Oh Baby, give me that drilling, I need it so!

As a non-American, I have not had a chance to become acquainted with “double entendre” song lyrics (in French it is actually “double sens” or “sous-entendu”). Only recently, when hubby was listening to some blues did I realise the double meaning of the words. I found that very funny, especially that most of these songs came out in the 30’s or 40’s. Here are some of them.

Dinah Washington - Long John Blues

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I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall

Yes I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall

Long John they call him, and he answers every call

Well I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'

Yes I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'

He told me not to worry, that my cavity just needed fillin'

He said "when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine"

He said, "Yes, when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine

Cause ev'ry woman just can't stand the pain"

He took out his trusted drill

And he told me to open wide

He said he wouldn't hurt me

But he'd fill my hole inside

Long John, Long John, you've got that golden touch

You thrill me when you drill me, and I need you very much

When he got through, he said "Baby that will cost you ten"

Yes when he got through, he said "Baby that will cost you ten

Six months from now, come back and see me again"

Say you're supposed to see your dentist

'Bout twice a year, that's right

But I think I feel it bobbin'

Yes I'll go back there tonight

Long John, Long John, don't ever move away

Say I hope I keep on achin' so I can see you every day.

Big Long Slidin' Thing by Dinah Washington

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Bull "Moose" Jackson - Big Ten Inch Record
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Got me the strangest woman

Believe me, this chick's no sinch

But I really get her going

When I whip out my big ten-inch

Record of a band that plays the blues

Well a band that plays its blues

She just love my big ten-inch

Record of her favorite blues

No no babe

Last night I tried to tease her

I gave my love a little pinch

She said now stop that jivin'

Now whip out your big ten-inch

Record of a band that plays the blues

Well a band that plays the blues

She just loves my big ten-inch

Record of her favorite blues

I, I, I cover her with kisses

And when we're in a lover's clinch

She gets all excited

When she begs for my big ten-inch

Record of a band that plays the blues

Well a band that plays the blues

She just love my big ten-inch

Record of her favorite blues

My girl don't go for smokin'

And liquor just make her flinch

Seems she don't go for nothin'

'Cept for my big ten-inch

Record of a band that plays the blues

Band that play the blues

She just love my big ten-inch

Record of her favorite blues

Harry Roy - My girl's pussy - 1931

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There's one pet I like to pet, and every evening we get set.

I stroke it every chance I get, it's my girl's pussy.

Seldom plays and never purrs, and I love the thoughts it stirs.

But I don't mind because it's hers, it's my girl's pussy.

Often it goes out at night, returns at break of dawn.

No matter what the weather's like, it's always nice and warm.

It's never dirty, always clean. In giving thrills, never mean.

But it's the best I've ever seen, it's my girl's pussy.

There's one pet I like to pet, and every evening we get wet.

I stroke it every chance I get, it's my girl's pussy.

Seldom plays, never purrs, and I love thoughts it stirs.

But I don't mind because it's hers, it's my girl's pussy.

So often it goes out at night, and returns at break of dawn, break of dawn.

No matter what the weather's like, it's always dry and warm.

I bring tidbits that it loves, we spoon like two turtledoves.

I take care to remove my gloves, when stroking my girl's pussy.

Julia Lee - King-size Papa

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I got a man that's more than eight foot tall. Four foot shoulders and that ain't all.

King size papa, He's my king size papa. I take the door off the hinges when my baby comes to call.

There's such a lot of him, the way he grew. Enough to last 'til 1992.

King size papa, he's my king size papa. He's a real super daddy and he knows just what to do.

No one can thrill me like my baby can. He's such an extraordinary man.

King size papa. He's my king size papa. Never was nothin' like him since the day the world began.

When he's around there's not a thing I lack. When he loves me he holds nothin' back.

King size papa. He's my king size papa. Everything that I need he carries in his king size pack.

They built the Boulder Dam, the Empire State. And then they made my man and is he great!

King size papa, he's my king size papa. He's the one in a million who can really keep me straight.

He's got big strong arms to hold me tight. Then he squeezes me with all his might.

King size papa. He's my king size papa. He's my one big moment and I'll keep him right in sight,

I would be curious to know about your own discoveries of “double entendre” songs.