Les nuits d'une demoiselle

Pour mes lecteurs francophones - For my French speaking followers

Une délicieuse chanson de Colette Renard de 1963, plutôt osé pour l'époque!

Que c'est bon d'être demoiselle
Car le soir dans mon petit lit
Quand l'étoile Vénus étincelle
Quand doucement tombe la nuit

Je me fais sucer la friandise
Je me fais caresser le gardon
Je me fais empeser la chemise
Je me fais picorer le bonbon

Je me fais frotter la péninsule
Je me fais béliner le joyau
Je me fais remplir le vestibule
Je me fais ramoner l'abricot

Je me fais farcir la mottelette
Je me fais couvrir le rigondin
Je me fais gonfler la mouflette
Je me fais donner le picotin

Je me fais laminer l'écrevisse
Je me fais foyer le cœur fendu
Je me fais tailler la pelisse
Je me fais planter le mont velu

Je me fais briquer le casse-noisettes
Je me fais mamourer le bibelot
Je me fais sabrer la sucette
Je me fais reluire le berlingot

Je me fais gauler la mignardise
Je me fais rafraîchir le tison
Je me fais grossir la cerise
Je me fais nourrir le hérisson

Je me fais chevaucher la chosette
je me fais chatouiller le bijou
Je me fais bricoler la cliquette
Je me fais gâter le matou

Et vous me demanderez peut-être
Ce que je fais le jour durant
Oh! cela tient en peu de lettres
Le jour , je baise, tout simplement



Paroles: Colette Renard. Musique: G.Breton & Raymond Legrand 1963
© Disque Vogue

Dirty Old Man

Our landlord is 70 year old.  Upon our arrival, we were invited for a drink and introduced to his family.

His wife and family have since been away for the week. Every day, he finds an excuse for ringing at the door. He likes to give me a cucumber or a zucchini - you should have seen the children's disgust! No need to have studied Freud to understand what he means, or do we have dirty minds when we wonder why a cucumber or a zucchini, or even an unripe plum!!!.

He has a bad breath, strange toes, is half bald and wears glasses, he is 70 after all. One day, he rang three times. “If you want to have a drink, I’m there, I’m waiting…” I did it once, at the beginning, he took every opportunity to touch my bare skin.  Since then, I’m always elusive or tell him we won’t be around. Doesn’t he get my message? Is it only hospitality, or is he a dirty old man?

Lately, we had an invasion of ants in the kitchen, he came by to check. He touched my arm and said he would take care of it, spray a little here and there… I cringed in horror and disengaged myself from his grip.

He has invited himself twice, cooking fish and bringing this very strong alcohol made with either rose petals, or orange rinds, mint leaves or carob seeds, or plumbs (slivoviz). The children made faces in his back, did silly comments when he was not listening, I had to make efforts not to laugh while listening to him. He has told us the same story three times already, so I think he is a little senile, but he always manages to touch me, my arm, my shoulder, my back. I mentioned my husband, he quivered. “Are you married? Yes, I am!” Ten minutes later, he was gone. The children asked with a grin “what would you have done if he tried to kiss you with his bad breath?” Well, I would never have let it go so far, and I prefer to believe it was just pure hospitality *ahem!*.  After that, I went for a strong cocktail!

On a more positive note, the view from our balcony.

Oh Baby, give me that drilling, I need it so!

As a non-American, I have not had a chance to become acquainted with “double entendre” song lyrics (in French it is actually “double sens” or “sous-entendu”). Only recently, when hubby was listening to some blues did I realise the double meaning of the words. I found that very funny, especially that most of these songs came out in the 30’s or 40’s. Here are some of them.

Dinah Washington - Long John Blues

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I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall

Yes I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall

Long John they call him, and he answers every call

Well I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'

Yes I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'

He told me not to worry, that my cavity just needed fillin'

He said "when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine"

He said, "Yes, when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine

Cause ev'ry woman just can't stand the pain"

He took out his trusted drill

And he told me to open wide

He said he wouldn't hurt me

But he'd fill my hole inside

Long John, Long John, you've got that golden touch

You thrill me when you drill me, and I need you very much

When he got through, he said "Baby that will cost you ten"

Yes when he got through, he said "Baby that will cost you ten

Six months from now, come back and see me again"

Say you're supposed to see your dentist

'Bout twice a year, that's right

But I think I feel it bobbin'

Yes I'll go back there tonight

Long John, Long John, don't ever move away

Say I hope I keep on achin' so I can see you every day.

Big Long Slidin' Thing by Dinah Washington

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Bull "Moose" Jackson - Big Ten Inch Record
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Got me the strangest woman

Believe me, this chick's no sinch

But I really get her going

When I whip out my big ten-inch

Record of a band that plays the blues

Well a band that plays its blues

She just love my big ten-inch

Record of her favorite blues

No no babe

Last night I tried to tease her

I gave my love a little pinch

She said now stop that jivin'

Now whip out your big ten-inch

Record of a band that plays the blues

Well a band that plays the blues

She just loves my big ten-inch

Record of her favorite blues

I, I, I cover her with kisses

And when we're in a lover's clinch

She gets all excited

When she begs for my big ten-inch

Record of a band that plays the blues

Well a band that plays the blues

She just love my big ten-inch

Record of her favorite blues

My girl don't go for smokin'

And liquor just make her flinch

Seems she don't go for nothin'

'Cept for my big ten-inch

Record of a band that plays the blues

Band that play the blues

She just love my big ten-inch

Record of her favorite blues

Harry Roy - My girl's pussy - 1931

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There's one pet I like to pet, and every evening we get set.

I stroke it every chance I get, it's my girl's pussy.

Seldom plays and never purrs, and I love the thoughts it stirs.

But I don't mind because it's hers, it's my girl's pussy.

Often it goes out at night, returns at break of dawn.

No matter what the weather's like, it's always nice and warm.

It's never dirty, always clean. In giving thrills, never mean.

But it's the best I've ever seen, it's my girl's pussy.

There's one pet I like to pet, and every evening we get wet.

I stroke it every chance I get, it's my girl's pussy.

Seldom plays, never purrs, and I love thoughts it stirs.

But I don't mind because it's hers, it's my girl's pussy.

So often it goes out at night, and returns at break of dawn, break of dawn.

No matter what the weather's like, it's always dry and warm.

I bring tidbits that it loves, we spoon like two turtledoves.

I take care to remove my gloves, when stroking my girl's pussy.

Julia Lee - King-size Papa

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I got a man that's more than eight foot tall. Four foot shoulders and that ain't all.

King size papa, He's my king size papa. I take the door off the hinges when my baby comes to call.

There's such a lot of him, the way he grew. Enough to last 'til 1992.

King size papa, he's my king size papa. He's a real super daddy and he knows just what to do.

No one can thrill me like my baby can. He's such an extraordinary man.

King size papa. He's my king size papa. Never was nothin' like him since the day the world began.

When he's around there's not a thing I lack. When he loves me he holds nothin' back.

King size papa. He's my king size papa. Everything that I need he carries in his king size pack.

They built the Boulder Dam, the Empire State. And then they made my man and is he great!

King size papa, he's my king size papa. He's the one in a million who can really keep me straight.

He's got big strong arms to hold me tight. Then he squeezes me with all his might.

King size papa. He's my king size papa. He's my one big moment and I'll keep him right in sight,

I would be curious to know about your own discoveries of “double entendre” songs.