The dream

His head resting on his folded forearm, I looked at him dozing. His full lips were slightly open, he breathed deeply, regularly. I loved everything in him. As I looked at him, I fell into a deep sleep feeling safe and happy.

From my deep sleep, I spaced between sleep and wakefulness where I felt light fingertips on my blouse buttons, and in a place where I was painstakingly conscious of each of their caresses, as of the faint breath of his opened mouth when he bend over me, but I did not move, I refused to admit I was awake. As long as I was asleep, it was something he was doing to me, something I did not have to decide. He opened my blouse so delicately. When he bent over me I could feel his shadow between the light and my closed eyes. His lips brushed my eyelids, landed on my mouth. He only held on to my hand, resting on it while he smelled my skin and licked it. The heat exploded in me and I desired him like I had never desired anyone else. I put my hand on the nape of his neck, pulled his mouth towards mine and kissed him deeply, but my hands met horns, the roots of which were buried in this hair. He was not at all a human! His musky scent surrounded us. He rubbed against me spreading his scent on my body. It was the doing of an animal, shocking and strange, but his scent was irresistible, it was rich, spicy, wonderful, so wonderful. I knew that as long as I would smell it, I would desire him. I rubbed against him. Like a cat in heat. He caressed me like no one had ever caressed me, awaking instinctive reactions I did not even know I had. Making me react like an animal. I felt hairy legs parting my thighs. I was making love to an animal. A goat. I suddenly opened my eyes. In a panic, shacking, “No”, I shouted, while brown hands grabbed my shoulders and forced me to lie down. During a terrifying moment, I believed he was going to force me, nail me down because he was stronger than me, like an animal, but no.

He remained lying on top of me, keeping me still yes, but only with his hands. I looked at his face trying to read his thoughts. There was nothing of an animal in the depth of his eyes, or at least no more than in my own. There was only Pan and what he was, neither human, nor animal. Nevertheless, he looked more like me than any other creature I may have met. We knew each other too well for letting anything come between us. What we were about to do went beyond all the laws of those of our species. My doubts had escaped me, leaving only desire.

I put my hands on his thin hairy goat hips and pulled him towards me. His hair was silky, his muscles firm, my hands slipped on his fur. I could not get a proper grip of him. He calmly resisted, forcing me to admit it was my needs I wanted to satisfy. It was something that had to come from me. I gave in and pulled him harder, but he still resisted. And I saw him smile. His mouth met mine, sweet as flowers, spicy as herbs, warm as the summer. Pan sled into me, warm and wet.

***

He slowly woke up; I could feel his erection against my thigh. He started very slowly, a rhythm for sleepy bodies on a sunny summer day, an exchange that led us languorously and doubtlessly to complete satiety. “First times are particularly charming”!

(Free adaptation of a piece of a novel by Megan Lindhom “Cloven Hooves”)